Flight Attendants: The Secrets of their Trade
FLIGHT ATTENDANTS: THE SECRETS OF THE TRADE.
You may not notice much about flight attendants, but they see one hell of a lot about you.From the moment that you board the plane, some judgments have already been made about you, and some of the conclusions will come as quite surprising.
MEETING AND GREETING
Even the initial ‘hello welcome to the flight’ (or words to that effect) are designed to elicit a response (although less than 20% of you give an audible reply).The words are supposed to garner some indication of your physical state (we mean whether you are drunk or high etc.). Drunk or otherwise intoxicated passengers can cause problems on planes. By this we mean not just physically aggressive, this is unusual. The big problem is actually in the case of an emergency when the plane may need to implement emergency procedures or even be evacuated. Drunk disorientated people can delay these procedures at what could be critical periods and lives could be endangered.
CHECKING OUT FOR LIKELY ASSISTANCE
Similarly, they will be looking for larger well-built male passengers who could assist in subduing unruly passengers.
It is important to note that safety is always the bottom line in aviation.
CHECKING OUT WHAT YOU CARRY ON
Secondly, the flight attendants will be inspecting you to see what you are bringing on board. This can be illicit booze or excess luggage. Alcohol can be brought onto the flight (otherwise duty-free would die). However, it may not be drunk, remember food and drink sales are a big money-spinner for airlines.Excess baggage is commonly spotted before boarding, but it is amazing how passengers will try and abuse the system.
AIRLINE EMPLOYEES AS PASSENGERS
In so far as it is possible they may check to see if there are any other airline employees on board. In the event of any problems, these people may offer invaluable professional assistance.
CROWDING THE OVERHEAD BINS.
Passengers will attempt to defy all the laws of physics in trying to place huge pieces of luggage into bins that will not close and then expect cabin staff to become Albert Einstein to accommodate their enormous baggage.It is the passenger's responsibility to make sure that their luggage fits in the bin.Cabin staff are not allowed to lift baggage but seem to be expected to do most of the pushing and shoving.
SPOTTING NERVOUS OR SICK PASSENGERS.
Identifying problems early saves a lot of time later in the flight. Those afraid of flying may need a few words of comfort, those who are sick need a quick assessment as to what problems they may or may not cause during the flight. Staff cannot assess contagious diseases, but they may have to make a judgment as to the likely effect on other passengers.Obviously, passengers showing signs of illness from tropical destinations are a particular cause for concern.Fundamentally any medical emergency is better to be had on Terra Firma, with all the medical expertise to hand.
PASSENGERS WITH DISABILITIES
Similarly, passengers with disabilities should not occupy the exit aisle. This involves lifting a heavy hatch or heavy door which they may not be able to do.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT KEY TIPS:
Please do not decide you want to go to the toilet when I am pushing a 250-pound cart towards you.
The Passenger Attendant button is not a plaything for your child.
Please bring diapers if you are traveling with a child.
I am sorry if your wheelchair has not arrived on time, but this is not the flight attendants fault, all such services are sub-contracted by the airport concerned.
Bring a pen. In many cases, you will be expected to fill in immigration forms.We do not carry 200 pens !.
Dealing with rude passengers is not a pleasant experience, so perhaps you could start by not being er...rude !.
The median age of a flight attendant is 44 years old.We are not teenage wannabe catwalk models and should not be treated as such.